CHRISTMAS GREETINGS FROM THE YULE GOAT!

We're where we want to be this year - at home. Beside one Christmas in Tenerife, the Sea Nevills tend to stay in our comforting rock pool (with quick access to the sea should shit go south). This year we're in a new rock pool, though it's on the same reef and not far from the last one.

A few eats, treats, strolls, films and footie on the telly, is the intention. Continuing the family tradition since 2006, we'll watch Lord of the Rings together in the evenings. This year, however, on bluray. First part of the Fellowship of the Ring spins tonight.

So, I salute you all with both horns and hope that you find some joy - or just peace - at this time of year.

For those who displeased me in '23, brace yourselves for the Yule Goat! As its snorts and mephitic breath draw you rudely from sleep tonight, the first thing you will see is its ghastly silhouette, erect on bony hind legs beside your bed. It has instructions, directions and addresses. Scrabbling on Christmas Eve to delete that review on Goodreads won't help. Too late for that.